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Nitri: The combatants are set. Let's set this debate, that we created ourselves, once and for all.

bIzARRO: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEE!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rapaxe By Majin123-d9mlo2v by ProfessorSodaMan



Axe Cop had been patrolling the streets for an hour now, searching for bad guys to chop the heads off of. While he sure wasn't getting tired (he hasn't chosen to be), he was getting a bit bored, so he began reaching into his pocket to get his walkie-talkie and tell his pet dinosaur that he'd be heading back. That was when he heard the sound of screaming and gunfire, so he turned towards where the sound had come from and then ran.

One minute earlier, Eminem had been with his posse of thugs, all of them heading to a gas station to rob it. Sure, it wasn't the coolest place to rob, but it would be good enough for a 1:00 AM robbery. He wieleded his Glock and led the way into the gas station. The rest of the group wore weird masks to protect their identities, but Eminem just planned on killing anyone who saw his face, so a mask wasn't necessary for him.

"What can I do for you today, sir?" The teenaged cashier asked Eminem, too tired to notice his gun or the mask-wearing delinquents behind him.

"What I want is for you to take all the money in that f---ing cash register and put it in the damn bag!" (Yes, I censor the f-word and not damn. Is that bad?) He fired a bullet into the ceiling to get his point across, but that simply startled the teenager; he hadn't paid attention to a word Eminem had said.

That was when Axe Cop had heard the ruckus and ran in at his fastest speed. While everyone was very much panicked by the bullet fired, most of the people that were in that gas station were alarmed to see an axe-wielding cop appear behind the criminals. When the gang heard people exclaim 'Who's the guy with the axe?', they turned around to see Axe Cop standing there and freak out.

A guy wearing a bird mask tugged at Eminem's shirt sleeve and told him with fear in his voice, "Let's get out of here, man, that guy's a cop!" He then made a dash for a door, but Axe Cop quickly swung his axe at him, and his severed head fell onto the floor (along with his body). The rest of the gang members had already grabbed money from the cash register and ran out the back, leaving Eminem and Axe Cop facing each other.

"This is your chance to apologize for your Bad Guy behavior-" Axe Cop began telling Eminem before a bullet was fired into his head from Eminem's gun. "Well, you clearly have no intent on not being a Bad Guy, so I guess this will be the last time we talk before I chop your head off."

FIGHT!

Thinking fast, Eminem ran at Axe Cop, lifted him as high as he could without making him touch the ceiling, and threw him into the Frozen Food aisle. 

Axe Cop calmly stepped out of the freezer he was thrown into and swung his axe at Eminem, who jumped over the projectile and landed next to the cop.

Eminem then swung his fist at Axe Cop, who simply moved out of the way. Eminem didn't seem fazed by punching the wall; in fact, given the dent and smoke left on it, the wall was more hurt than Eminem was. 

Taking his eyes off of Eminem, Axe Cop ran around the counter fast enough that it appeared that he had teleported from next to Eminem to near his axe. He picked the axe up and began running at Eminem with the intent of chopping his head off, but Eminem thought fast; he pulled out a chainsaw that he had once stole and started it and wielded it in a defensive move. Axe Cop jumped over Eminem and landed behind him before swinging his axe at him. Before his axe had contact with his neck, Eminem vanished. 


Eminem stood at his favorite bar, just a block away from the gas station he teleported away from. He squatted down and buried his hands in the pavement under the bar; then, he grabbed the bar itself and lifted it up a few inches in the air.

Axe Cop then showed up; he had gotten out his sniping shotgun and turned it into a Flaming Sword. "I knew you'd be here," Axe Cop monologued, ready for Eminem's next move, "You bad guys always turn up at the bar."

He now lifted the bar two feet in the air, and he began smiling crazily, hardly paying attention to what Axe Cop said. He then threw the bar right at his opponent, who caught the bar in one of his hands.

"You're strong, I'll give you that much," Axe Cop told Eminem as he set the bar back down where it belonged, "but I know I'm stronger." 

After hearing that claim, Eminem smiled and simply snapped his fingers. From that snap, the entire world was engulfed in flames, including the very spot where Axe Cop and Eminem stood. Eminem then became engulfed in flames instantly, as if he just chose to be, and ran at Axe Cop with the intent of delivering a blow to his neck. 

Axe Cop wasn't feeling any pain from the fire; in fact, the fire helped him evolve into his next form: Axe Cop Fire. Using this new form, he controlled the fire that had appeared everywhere around the world and formed it into a giant ball. He then took this fireball and threw it at Eminem. This did nothing but engulf Eminem in more flames, which sounds like it would hurt him, but it really just made him smile wide with insanity.

"Sama lamaa duma lamaa, you assuming I'm a human," Eminem began rambling as he grabbed Axe Cop and teleported the both of them somewhere where noone else can find them. 

 This place was the future; specifically, a future in which the world has become a nuclear wasteland. They both appeared on top of a wreckeed building, where Eminem continued,

"What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman?"

Axe Cop was beginning to understand why he was the leader of his Bad Guy Gang, but he knew he had to do something to end his reign of evil, so he quickly looked over his opponent to try and find his weaknesses. 'Wait a minute. I know what's going on,' Axe Cop thought, 'I'm in a battle written by someone with too much time on their hands! I'll just get out the Prelude...' Axe Cop then pulled out the Transcript to the Eminem vs. Axe Cop prelude and began reading through it. 

Eminem saw him reading the script and knew it would help him defeat this guy, and there was one way to get it out of him. He just blinked, and time was frozen. He walked over to the time-frozen Axe Cop and got the axe out of his grip and took the script as well. He then unfroze time, just to watch Axe Cop look up in surprise before he disappeared with the script and the Axe.

He paced around the sand, angry with himself for letting that criminal get away. He then knew what he could do to stop him, and he took out one of his Magic Fruit and began eating it. Once he had eaten all of it, he made his wish out loud: "I wish to get to where the man who just stole my Axe is heading five minutes before he gets there." Then, he disappeared as well. 

Eminem had skimmed to Axe Cop's Weaknesses just before teleporting away and was amused by his weakness to Cherry Candy Canes, so he chose to teleport back in time to a Walgreens in November, when they were still selling Cherry Candy Canes. He didn't expect to see Axe Cop standing in front of the door, waiting for him to show up.

With his hypnotic powers, Axe Cop tried to persuade Eminem into handing the axe back to him so he could chop off his head. However, Eminem seemed extremely resistant to the hypnosis, and he chose to swung the axe at Axe Cop's neck. Axe Cop quickly took out another axe of his and blocked the attack before kicking Eminem right in his left knee, causing him to drop the axe and fall onto the ground in pain. 

"What kind of a weakness is 'weak knees', anyway?" Axe Cop rhetorically asked his foe as he turned his Axe That Can Turn Into Any Gun into a Poison Dart Gun and aimed for Eminem's arms. Eminem then disappeared from his spot on the ground, so Axe Cop decided he needed to bring out the big, big guns. 

Eminem had teleported to the Candy isle of the store and grabbed a handful of cherry candy canes. Not caring if he was caught, he began unwrapping them all so he'd be prepared for when Axe Cop arrived. Immediately after he thought that, he saw the roof of the Walmart get lifted off the ground by a giant-sized Axe Cop, who aimed his normal-sized Perfect Axe at Eminem. Eminem began running towards the water fountains, feeling a bit parched. After a drink of water, he felt a whole lot better, so he did something unexpected; he turned into a rocketship and began flying into the air.

Axe Cop wasn't too surprised by his opponent now being a rocketship- anyone could predict that- but he was curious as to what he was planning, so he grabbed his axe from where it landed, bent down, and jumped out of Earth's gravity and into space. He shrunk back down to his normal size and landed on Pluto before searching for Eminem. He then saw what he was doing; he had lifted the Earth up and thrown it at him.

He landed in the middle of Time Square, where people could see bits of Pluto bits coming towards Earth, but no signs of it going farther from the Sun were there.

Meanwhile, in space, Eminem began throwing the rest of the planets at Earth, turning it from a bright blue-and-green marble to a destroyed ball of rock. The death count rose to the millions, but there is a good reason this is called DEATH BATTLE and not DEATH COUNT: consequences make battles less fun.

Axe Cop stood in the midde of time square as planets crashed into the Earth. News broadcasts began reporting it before their Radio Tower was destroyed, and the people reporting on the field had no chance of survival. Axe Cop, on the other hand, had taken out the book that Book Cop had given him. He remembered how Eminem had used his Odin powers to teleport and time travel and decided that two should play that game. 

Eminem was interrupted from his planet-throwing when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He looked behind him to see Axe Cop holding a book. He smiled and pulled a candy cane from his pocket and tried to stab it into Axe Cop's heart, and Axe Cop tried to use his axe to chop his head off. Both managed to grab each other's arms to stop their weapons from potentially killing them. 

Axe Cop had no doubt that he'd be able to win this fight, but he knew if he were to somehow lose this battle, he'd want all those deaths that he had helped cause not be in vain. 

"Mr... um, I never got your name..." 

"Eminem, but my friends call me Slim Shady," Eminem told him before teleporting away from that standoff, not used to having a casual conversation with someone he was trying to kill. 


"Okay," Axe Cop awkwardly replied before going on, "Mr. Eminem, you may be a bad guy, but you are a great opponent. If I lose this battle, will you promise to go back in time and stop those deaths from occuring?" Eminem raised an eyebrow at this question, but Axe Cop continued, "I don't want to die with a reputation of killing every Good Guy on Earth."

Eminem smiled and began nodding. "How about I go back and time and do that right now, then come back and try and stab two candy canes into your heart?" 

Axe Cop didn't show it, but that made him happy to hear, so he nodded. Eminem teleported back in time and transported everyone that was on Earth just before the battle had started to another dimension in which the battle had never occurred. He didn't really consider the consequences of a universe where there is one of each person on Earth, since he was more focused on winning the battle. He teleported back to where Axe Cop waited; to Axe Cop, it only took him a split second to get back. 

Eminem immediately wielded his two candy canes and tried to stab him in the heart with them and ducked under a swinging axe. He put Axe Cop in a headlock to keep him still, but Axe Cop grabbed him and pushed him to the ground. Eminem simply teleported from the ground to behind Axe Cop and drove the candy canes into his back. 

Axe Cop felt all the life draining away from him, but he used the last of his strength to move around at a great speed and swing his axe to chop off Eminem's head.

Eminem had been so busy preemptively celebrating his victory that he didn't have time to teleport away from the axe that then cut through his neck and left his head floating through space.

Axe Cop decided that he didn't want to have his body floating in space for the rest of eternity, so he squatted down and jumped toward the sun. He entered that giant ball of gas a split second before he died, and his body was evaporated completely. Eminem's body, meanwhile, continued to float through space until the end of time.

D-DOUBLE K.O.?

Nitri: bIzARRO, you understand bizarreness. Tell us why that battle ended like it did.

bIzARRO: Well, with Eminem's Odin powers (and his non-Odin abilities) and Axe Cop's impressive durability and strength, they were almost evenly matched. Eminem wasn't affected by Axe Cop Fire, as he was already able to burst into flames, and both of them had a way of teleporting. 

Nitri: Oh yes, that's right! Eminem was easily able to teleport away from any attack that might've killed him, but Axe Cop's speed still managed to land a fatal slice on Eminem during his death. 

bIzARRO: It looks like Axe Cop death was sweet, and Eminem lost his head in the end.

Nitri: This battle is a tie.


Next time on Death Battle... 

Both are called The Chosen One...

Both are pretty plain-looking, but are capable of defying expectations...

...but who is The One?

Neo vs. The Chosen One aka The Animation!

.
Tell me what you did and didn't like about the battle, it'll help me improve when I write my next DEATH BATTLE.
Add a Comment:
 
:icondoctormoodb:
DoctorMooDB Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016
That was insane and fun from start to finish XD awesome work!
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016  Student Writer
Thank you, I'm almost done with my next battle,  I just need to write the banter with another good DB writer.
Reply
:iconjirouzoroark:
JirouZoroark Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2016
Lets go Animation!
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2016  Student Writer
I'll have to go back and watch the A.v.A video with The Chosen One in it to get his bio.
Reply
:iconjirouzoroark:
JirouZoroark Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2016
Given the one you are using, you should also include The feats from TheSecondingComing from A.v.A 4 and Animation vs Minecraft
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2016  Student Writer
Thanks.
Reply
:iconjirouzoroark:
JirouZoroark Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2016
welcome
Reply
:iconnekroz-of-mokey:
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Axe Cop's speed managed to land a fatal slice on himself? :l
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Student Writer
oops, I guess I wasn't thinking when typing that. I hope that mistake didn't affect how you felt about the battle, though.
Reply
:iconnekroz-of-mokey:
Nekroz-of-Mokey Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
It is a good fight, I just thought that was weird. :)
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2016  Student Writer
I understand why you thought that, and thanks.
Reply
:iconphantasm-of-grey34:
Phantasm-Of-Grey34 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
That was... Neat to say the least!

Great job, though! You captured Axe Cop's personality pretty well. :)

And the fight was enjoyable as well. :D
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Student Writer
I'm glad you liked the fight. I haven't really been watching Axe Cop, but I guess i read enough about him to write his personality pretty well (at least, for you).
Reply
:iconphantasm-of-grey34:
Phantasm-Of-Grey34 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
It's actually pretty funny, so if you ever have free time on your hands, I can definitely recommend it. :)
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Student Writer
It does sound funny from what I've read about it.
Reply
:iconphantasm-of-grey34:
Phantasm-Of-Grey34 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
From a big fan of the series, it is. Although, most of the things on Adult Swim are pretty enjoyable, so that isn't saying much.

I'd still recommend it, though. :)
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Student Writer
thanks for recommending it, and thanks again for complimenting the battle.
Reply
:iconphantasm-of-grey34:
Phantasm-Of-Grey34 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! :D
Reply
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