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Ronald V Joker by ProfessorSodaMan

Lock-On: *Walking in* Dynamite? Have we got any...where the hell am I?

bIzARRO: I have some dynamite for you right here! *holds up boxes labelled TNT* Oh, and this is just where me and my friend do our Death Battles.

Lock-On: Alright, but how did I end up here?

bIzARRO: I think I've seen some wormholes opening up around here... hey, my friend hasn't came back from his collab yet, do you think you could help me do a DEATH BATTLE?

Lock-On: Um, sure. Why not? *he sits down beside him* so what are we doing?

bIzARRO: The theme is 'clowns that scare people on purpose', starring the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker!

Lock-On: Oh, that sounds interesting, who's he fighting?

bIzARRO: RackaRacka's interpretation of Ronald McDonald! Y'know, the one who kills you if you don't respect his fast food chain!

Lock-On: Now this is going to be an interesting fight.

bIzARRO: Yes, it shall be. Who will win in the Battle of the Clowns? The Joker, The Clown Prince of Crime...

Lock-On: Or pissed off Ronald Mcdonald?

bIzARRO: I'm bIzARRO, he's another guy, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to see who would win a DEATH BATTLE!

_____________________



RONALD MCDONALD

Age: Probably 20-30 years old

Aliases: Ronald, The Clown

Feats: Killed the Hamburgler (twice)

Worked as Master Chief for a temporary time

Fought an old man in a WWE-style cage match

Was summoned through a mirror and killed 5-7 children

Killed the Burger King

Personality: 

Will attack anyone who disrespects McDonalds (in his perspective)

Doesn't care about anyone else's well-being besides his own

Obviously a sociopath

Will scream and cuss if things go wrong for him 

Willing to kill or injure people just to one-up them or to get what he wants


Lock-On: Ah, Mcdonalds. Nothing says, capitalism, I mean obesity, I mean America like McDonalds!

bIzARRO: And when you think of McDonald's, you surely think of a makeup-wearing clown who loves hanging around children and giving them burgers!

Lock-On: ...this is already creepy.

bIzARRO: Well, it only gets creepier with RackaRacka's version of this character, turning him from a goofy clown to a sociopath who will kill anyone who dares to eat anything but McDonald's. 

Lock-On: ...Is it a bad time to say I'm a weight watcher?

bIzARRO: I doubt Ronald can find out. Now, let's talk about the skills that Ronald uses to honor the name of McDonald's!

SKILLS AND ABILITIES

Strength
 - Was able to rip someone's tongue out of their mouth with his bare fingers
 - Bit someone's toes off of their (cut-off) foot with his teeth
 - Broke a child's neck in one twist
 - Lifted up an entire trashcan to throw at someone
Durability
 - Got his genitals crushed and got up in 5 seconds, ready to attack
 - Jumped off his roof and onto a car's front window (getting his leg through the glass) and survived 
 - Got thrown into a small hill of dirt, and got his head kicked against it, and didn't suffer any short-term or long-term damage
Intelligence
 - mentally unstable 
 - Seems ignorant of many things that people his age should know (ex. sex-ed)
 - Can deceive his opponents into thinking that he has given up 
Speed
 - Will walk with his legs far apart, making him look like a penguin walking
 - When he's serious about killing, he'll walk/jog regularly
Accuracy
 - Threw a knife right into someone's head in one throw
 - Hasn't missed when wielding his pistol
Was able to fool the Burger King with just a mask as his disguise 

Burger Powers 
 - Summons burgers from nowhere to launch at enemies
 - Ineffective in battle
Can be summoned by saying his name three times into a mirror

Lock-On: For starters, he can rip a child's tongue out with his bare hands...ow.

bIzARRO: He can also bite off someone's toes off their feet, meaning his biting strength is strong enough to rip through bone and muscle. Also, gross.

Lock-On: Note to self: Order McDonalds after this.

bIzARRO: His only other two feats of strength were breaking a child's neck in one... twist, I think, and picking up a trash can to throw it at someone. Not Superman strength, but good enough for a battle.

Lock-On: In other words, powerful enough to mutilate you in several different ways.

bIzARRO: He's also been shown to have some durability and quick recovery from pain. Getting his valuables crushed by a bodybuilding woman only temporarily subdued him- though that recovery didn't help him win against 4-5 people.

Lock-On: And that seems to make up for the fact he rarely walks normally.

bIzARRO: I'll also mention real quick his strange 'Burger Powers"... basically like Air Bending, except you just launch normal-sized sandwiches at your foes.


Lock-On: Just by saying that, you can realize this character is pretty damn strange.

WEAPONS

Pistol
 - Fired 9 bullets from it, so his might hold 10
Axe 
 - Pulled seemingly out of nowhere
 - Chops into skulls fairly easily (if swung hard)
Knife
 - Also pulled out of nowhere
 - He is able to throw it into someone's head with great accuracy
 - Can 
Chainsaw
 - Again, pulled out of nowhere
 - Cut right through someone
Hacksaw 
 - Used to hack through bone 
Golf Club 
 - In his car 
 - Can smash mailboxes, but can probably be used to hurt people
Will usually take what he can find to use as a weapon (a trashcan, for instance)
Crowbar
 - Used to beat 

WEAKNESSES

- Will run for the hills when someone calls 911
- In a real duel, he nearly lost, and only won by cheating 
- A headlock was able to put him into submission
- Usually, only targets innocent people as his victims, and people prepared for combat (ex. several body builders) could beat him to the ground
- Doesn't think ahead, and isn't very observant
- Mentally unstable

bIzARRO: Strange and unstable. They have the mentality of a child who knows words that they probably shouldn't know, choosing to cuss and act violently if things aren't going the way they hoped. They are also very clumsy, which is a bad thing to mix with 'unstable'.


Lock-On: And if someone is calling the police, he gets the hell out of there.

bIzARO: I guess he at least knows that he'd go to jail for any of the things he's done. He only ever kills people who have no combat skills; in fact, his victims are basically regular people who either didn't like McDonald's or wouldn't eat it.

Lock-On: Well, he is a goddamn psychopath.

bIzARRO: Fair point. And while he does have some weaknesses, he has wracked up plenty of kills. but can he defeat the Jester of Genocide?



The Joker 
AKA: The Clown Prince of Crime, The Jester of Genocide, The Harlequin of Hate, The Ace of Knaves
Alias: Red Hood, Jack Napier, Oberon Saxton, The Domino Killer, Joe Kerr, Dr. J Reko, Mr. Genesius, The Laughing Man, Puddin, Puddin-Pop, Mistah J
Age: Unknown
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 160 lbs 
Occupation: Super-Villain, Mass Murderer, Serial Killer, Crime Boss

Feats:
Batman’s greatest enemy
Criminal mastermind who has committed a vast array of crimes against humanity
Killed Jason Todd, the second Robin
Crippled Barbara Gordon, the second Batgirl
Has defeated countless heroes, villains, and basically anyone that stands in the way of his fun time
Feared even by other villains
Has the biggest body count of any human level DC Villain (barring world destroying events)
In crossovers with Marvel Comics, managed to manipulate the Hulk to his bidding and held his own against Spider-Man and the Red Skull
In Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe, defeated Sonya Blade, Deathstroke and Batman and held his own against Scorpion and Kano
Tormented the Angry Video Game Nerd with terrible licensed Batman games

Lock-On: Okay, most criminals are smart enough to do things like stay hidden, watch for security cameras and not wear large purple suits that make them stand out, right?


bIzARRO: Well, The Joker is in another league altogether; sometimes it seems like he loves getting attention.

Lock-On: Being Batman's most nefarious enemy, the Joker must be doing something right...aside his wardrobe. I can't get over that!

bIzARRO: And before you ask, he didn't dye his hair green; that was just a result of falling into a tub of radioactive stuff. Radioactive stuff really messes you up. Now, let's talk about The Joker's skills!

Physicality
Peak human physicality
Strength
-Peak human physicality
-Can occasionally overpower Batman
Speed
-Surprisingly fast and agile
-Can dodge Batman’s Batarangs
*Keep in mind that Batman can throw Batarangs around 100mph
Durability
-Can take much more punishment then regular human beings
-High-resistance to pain
Stamina
-Can push himself past the limit of the human body

Skills and Abilities
Indomitable Will
Genius Level Intellect 
-Chemistry
-Science and engineering
-Psychological torment/torture
-Tactical and strategical mastermind

Master of Disguise and Escapology
Skilled hand-to-hand fighter
Completely Unpredictable
Completely Insane
Cosmic Awareness
-Seems to be aware that he's in a comic book
-Probably due to the fact that he’s insane
-Other characters tend to ignore this

Cheating Death
-Always seems to come back, no matter the situation
High-Resistance to Pain

Joker Gadgets
A variety of different comedic weapons
 - Razor Sharp Playing Cards
 - Acid Flowers
 - 
“Bang!” Revolver
  -Just as deadly as the real thing
 - Joy Buzzer
  -50 000 volts
  -Can be used lethally and non-lethally
 - Joy Buzzer
  -50 000 volts
  -Can be used lethally and non-lethally  

 - A Smelly Fish
  -Usually a Bass or a Salmon
 - Exploding Cigars
 - Rolling Marbles
 - Spring Loaded Boxing Glove

Lock-On: One of his most infamous attacks are razor sharp playing cards.

bIzARRO: You wouldn't want to pick any card from that deck. He also has been known to carry some marbles that are great for making his foes fall of their feet, and a gag gun that is as dangerous as a real one.

Lock-On: And then, there's his infamous Joker gas, where just breathing it in will make you die with a big, dumb grin on your face.

bIzARRO: If he doesn't have room for his goofy and deadly weapons, he always has regular old ones too; a rocket launcher, for instance.


Standard Weapons
 Guns
  -Revolvers
  -Shotguns
  -Rocket Launchers
  -Sniper Rifles
 Explosives
  -Frag Grenades
  -Dummy bombs
 Melee Weapons
  -Knives
  -Crowbars
  -No. 2 Pencil
Anything he can get his hands on

Joker Venom

 -Can be dispersed in a liquid or gaseous form
 -Causes victims to laugh uncontrollably
 -High doses can lead to death
 -Victims will die with a horrific grin post rigor-motis
 -Used in gas cans, gas tanks, grenades or guns
 -The Joker is immune to Joker Venom

Lock-On: Also, he must be good if he can be the god damned batman's rival.

bIzARRO: The Joker seems to possess cartoon-levels of pain resistance, speed, strength and flexability; the only reason The Joker hasn't been put into the electric chair is because he'd probably survive it. Oh, and he'd kill everyone in the room before the switch was pulled.

Lock-On: And I thought clowns couldn't get creepier.

bIzARRO: He doesn't lack in the intelligence department, either; you could call him a genius, in fact. He's an expert in science and engineering, and psychological torture is his strongsuit. 


Lock-On:...but his suit begs to differ- seriously, am I the only one bothered by that!?

bIzARRO: I guess The Joker is psychologically torturing you with his wardrobe choices, huh?

Lock-On: Guess so...but poor outfit choice isn't his only setback.


Weaknesses
 Mentally Unstable
 Still human…somewhat
 A good deal of his plans need prep-time


bIzARRO: Yep! Despite his cartoon level of vulnerability, he is still sort of human, so dying is a thing he can do.

Lock-On: Not to mention, there's the fact hes...kind of goddamn insane.


bIzARRO: He's been in the Gotham Asylum so much, it might as well be his home. And most of his evil schemes require planning, which won't be allowed in a Death Battle; don't expect him to have set up any elaborate traps.


Lock-On: But hey, he's going toe to toe with Batman, so, he must be doing something right.

bIzARRO: Despite his strange abilities, though, he is still a bit human, so he could die. But that mortality of his never stopped him from narrowly avoiding death while committing the most heinous of crimes.

Lock-On: I think my fear of clowns has now been justified.

bIzARRO: Along with my fear of McDonald's. But, who of these two Clown Creeps will be the victors? Find out in the next DEAH BATTLE!




This is a collab between me and :iconforceofnatureandcorn: Since I helped him with some hostly banter for one of his battles, it was only fair that he helped me with some of my banter. 
Add a Comment:
 
:iconleonardthereptile:
leonardthereptile Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2016
Can I use the Ronald McDonald bio?
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2016  Student Writer
Alright, as long as you credit me. May I ask what you are using Ronald's bio for?

Also, keep in mind that this is not actual Ronald McDonald. It is just the insane, murderous version made by RackaRacka. I'm not stopping you from using this in place of the real Ronald, I just hope you know.
Reply
:iconleonardthereptile:
leonardthereptile Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2016
Actually I'm putting him against either the Burger King or someone else
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2016  Student Writer
Alrighty. Here's some extra info on Ronald: 

- Weapons: He used a crowbar in the Meet the McDonald's episode

- Strength: He might be able to be scaled to the other members of his family, and one of them actually bit into someone's chest

- He once used a baby as a weapon

- Strength: He easily crushed someone's skull with a rock
Reply
:iconshrekitralph9181:
ShrekitRalph9181 Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2016
Joker didn't get a toy in his happy meal today Lol
Reply
:icongameboyadv:
GameboyAdv Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Going with Joker on this one.
Reply
:icontheuberchargedguy217:
TheUberchargedGuy217 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2016
I honestly can't believe I'm rooting for Ronald. XD
Reply
:iconforceofnatureandcorn:
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
My money is on the joker. Not only does Joker have better speed and equipment, all it would really take is a little joker gas and he could win the fight without much effort.
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Student Writer
Do you think I should have The Joker use all of his weapons in the battle? If I do, the battle will be different than how I've done it so far.
Reply
:iconforceofnatureandcorn:
ForceOfNatureAndCorn Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Well, if you're using the entire arsenal of one character, it's only fair to do the same to the challenger
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2016  Student Writer
Well, I did use most of Ronald's weapons (besides his Burger Powers), so I could try including all of The Joker's weapons too.
Reply
:iconmaxfunnies2550:
MaxFunnies2550 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can't believe I'm rooting for Ronald McDonald
Reply
:iconmaxfunnies2550:
MaxFunnies2550 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I think no if you want the battle to be allittle more fair.
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Student Writer
Is your vote because of any advantages Ronald has?
Reply
:iconmaxfunnies2550:
MaxFunnies2550 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Naw He is a bit of a wimp compared to Joker I'm just rooting for him.
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Student Writer
I'd like to know: do you think I should have The Joker use all of his weapons in the battle? 
Reply
:iconmaxfunnies2550:
MaxFunnies2550 Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'd say no to keep it a fair battle.
Reply
:iconprofessorsodaman:
ProfessorSodaMan Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2016  Student Writer
That's good, because I already wrote and rewrote the battle, and neither battle featured all of The Joker's arsenal. 
Reply
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March 2, 2016
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